Thursday, October 2, 2014

New Friends

I remember when I was a little girl and I moved to a new school in the third grade. I was really worried about making new friends. My dad told me that I was a "likeable girl"and that I would make friends quickly. He was right. I had friends the very first day. One of them is married to one of my closest friends. That's pretty cool.

Here I am again, though. In a new place. Not just physically, but in a new place in my life. Some pretty big changes are happening that I'm not ready to talk about quite yet. One cool thing, this blog and the Texas Lady Facebook page.

It seems like, no matter what I have to talk about, it relates to someone. Shoot,even some of the things I don't talk about. I get to meet and visit with new friends. A lady today sent me a link on Facebook to help my sweet friend who recently lost her husband. That think had some great posts. Some I related to. Now I have a new friend.

Not long ago I almost deleted this blog without telling any of you. I'm glad I didn't. You folks are some really great friends. You make me smile. Thanks for being here.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Storms In Life

You know, we carry a firearm for protection but there are some things that it can't protect us from. It can't protect us from heartache. It can't protect us from letting go of loved ones who have lived full, amazing lives and are being called Home.

Today I wish I could ease the pain of my children. Their grandmother is on her way Home. She only has a few days left on this planet and their "goodbye" with her was unfulfilling since the stroke took her consciousness, so they were not able to have that last conversation with her.

As a mother, I want to always protect them but some things just have to be felt and grown through. I want to take their pain and shield them from all of the hurts. That, though, would be an injustice. Life will make them who they are going to be through these trials - as well as their triumphs.

So my sweet daughter and darling son, I love, love, love you. I am so very proud of the people you are becoming. While I would love to take away the pain that you are feeling, instead I will help you to process and work through it. I will give you tools to grow and learn. I will make memories with you. I will guide and direct you. I will cry with you. I will dance with you. I will be here. As it says in our favorite book right now "Pain demands to be felt," and I will feel it with you, even if it isn't my pain. You are part of me and your pain IS my pain. I may not be able to stop the storms in this life from coming, but my sweet loves, I promise to walk with you through the rain. I love you.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My Dog is an Addict!

This is Frog. Frog is a dog. Okay, okay I sound like a First Reader, I'll stop. My dog, Frog, is an addict. See that coffee cup in that picture? It no longer exists. If you come to my house, do NOT leave a coffee cup on the coffee table and leave the room. Frog loves coffee so much that she has broken 4 coffee mugs trying to drink all of the coffee before the coffee's owner returns to the room.

Today I dropped my coffee, and thankfully the mug I have now didn't break, but she was frantically trying to get as much coffee as possible before I got it all cleaned up.

Before you send hate mail, understand I am not in the habit of feeding caffeinated beverages to animals. It is merely an anecdotal look into the day that I am living today, as well as a welcome back of sorts.

Thank you all, my readers for being here. Lady's life is a crazy place right now, but I promise to get back to writing. I am working on some great reviews of survival shops, shooting ranges, and new women's holsters and gear. I love you guys and I love being here.

To kick it off: Please drop a comment here for a chance to win a Remora Holster Gift Certificate!! Let us know in your comment what your favorite shooting events are now that cooler weather is upon us. Will you be doing more plinking, hunting, or sport shooting?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Women’s Body Armor: There’s Room for Improvement

Body armor has long been an absolute essential when in combat, but it’s only in recent years that the armor was actually created (and fitted) with a woman’s body in mind. In 2012, the Army began testing body armor that was specifically geared toward a female body. Before then, they’d been using the same armor vests as men, which brings about a seemingly obvious point, made succinctly by Beverly Kimball, “females are not small males.” Women had previously been wearing a men’s vest; and while those technically fit, they do not fit well. In fact, according to Time magazine, the men’s extra small vest is too small for 85% of female soldiers. The advent of this new body armor seems almost obvious, but it was so revolutionary that it was considered one of the top inventions of 2012 according to Time Magazine.


One of the main problems associated with wearing a vest made for males is the lack of support it offers the bust. In an article about women’s body armor, Myke Glaze tells Police Mag that “[when] you put a male vest on a woman with an ample chest, the sides of her breasts are pushed out to the side and she has no coverage on her chest.” The solution to this problem has to do with the darting of the armor.  With additional darting shaping the material of the vest, you can ensure that the vest is correctly contoured to a woman’s body, allowing for optimum protection.


In addition to the problem of not being able to fit properly around the chest, there are a multitude of other problems associated with an incorrectly fitted vest. One of these problems is the length of the vest: Interamer’s body armor sizing guide suggests that this is also a problem for men. When sizing for men, two inches should be taken off the measurement of the torso, to account for movement. A vest that is too long will either hit the throat or belt when sitting down. The sizing guide shows that the length of the torso of the vest goes a long way in providing comfort for the wearer. As women have considerably shorter torsos than men, the length of a men’s vest would be too long to provide any such comfort. The vest hitting the hips causes considerable bruising while also raising the vest above the shoulders, meaning that it doesn’t offer the protection that it should at all times.

Body armor has come a long way in a short period of time, and the timing couldn’t be better. Last year, the Pentagon ordered that women should have the same opportunities as men when it comes to combat jobs. Additional jobs should open up by the thousands by 2016. This created a pressing need for women to be adequately protected when defending our country, which the Army is working toward fulfilling.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

What's The Difference In Scars?

If I had been burned and had scars on my neck, you wouldn't be able to use that as basis for not giving me a job. Sometimes, however, in the professional world a scar CAN be used against you.

What is a tattoo? By definition, it is to "mark (a person or a part of the body) with an indelible design by inserting pigment into punctures in the skin." Yes, it was done on purpose, but it does not affect my ability to be an excellent administrative assistant, to act in a professional manner, or to totally rock any job that I put my mind to. 

I was furious recently when I was talking to a woman at the dog park when she offered,"I think Hot Topic is hiring at the mall, I'm sure they would hire you, with your tattoos." Wow. Really?

My tattoos are part of me. Some are important: the "medic alert" tattoo on my left arm, the bee and daisy to remind me to "be still and know He is God", and the shamrock on my ankle reminding me that we create our own luck. Some, I wish I hadn't gotten, but have taught important lessons. Sure, if I could I would have a few of them removed, but the point is, without a job that's not possible. 

I guess my request for my readers today is simple: don't judge someone by the scars on their body, whether they are accidental, natural, or self imposed. They may be an important lesson stemming from a dark place in different than a scar on a girl's wrist from an attempted suicide. They may be a reminder of a past life, changed for the better...similar to a surgery scar from a bad choice made as a child. They may be a reminder for safety...the exact same thing as a medical alert bracelet or medallion. See that person for who they are, not what they look like, what they wear, or the color or marks on their skin. 

Monday, June 2, 2014

Feeling Great!

A few weeks ago, I decided I was tired of feeling and looking less than what I truly wanted so I joined the gym. I found an amazing small gym and started really working. 

A few days after I joined, a Diverticulitis attack but me on my butt for 2 weeks. That is part of the reason I need this. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

I still love my little gym, but a close friend has recently paid for a month at 24 Hour Fitness for me and I am for sure enjoying the extra amenities. I will probably return to my gym once this month is up, though, because I truly cannot afford the big gym fees and I really love the family feel there. 

I have learned two things:
1. Working Out Feels Great
   I love the way I feel after a workout. Feel like I've done something, I've worked hard, and I made a difference in my life. It's a very accomplished feeling. I love it!!

2. Eating Healthy Is A Little More Expensive
   It's a little sad to me that I can get a nasty, greasy cheeseburger for $1, but a crisp, healthy salad costs $6. One thing I love, Walmart's Great Value brand Greek Nonfat Yogurt. It's just as good as name brand, for half the price and oh, so yummy!!

I have also set a goal. Not a weight goal, because I have determined that the number on the scale is not what is important. I will measure my progress by strength gains, feeling healthy, and liking the way I look. So this is my goal 

I am right now at a size 12-14. This dress is a 10. I don't want to just fit into it either...I want to WEAR it!!! 

I also plan to reward myself with a corset holster from Can Can Concealment when I hit that goal, too. 

Thursday, May 22, 2014


Seven years ago, when I lost 2 grandmothers in two months, I remember leaning into my father's chest and sobbing that I didn't think I was grown up enough to handle that much loss at once. 

We all cope with grief differently. We cope with different types of grief differently. Generally for me, I dwell for a while. I simmer in my stew of despair. I allow myself to live in the pain for as long as I need to process the feelings and then I cry, I pray, I accept that this is going to be okay and I press on.  

When I was 18, however, I experienced a loss that I was definately not mature enough to handle. I had experienced death before, just not unexplained death. My grandfather passed away because he was in kidney failure, it wasn't fair but there was a reason. In the 8th grade, a close friend committed suicide, it was devastating, but I knew him, I knew his depression, while unexpected, I could convince myself that there was a reason and continue forward. My grandmother and I spent hours, and I finally came to the understanding that he was just too wonderful and gentle for this harsh world and God somehow allowed him to be free of it. That was a good enough explanation for a 12 year old. 

But Katy, our sweet Katy with so much unmet potential, there was no reason. That solemn and wise soul, that silly hearted girl was not ill, was not suicidal, there was no reason for her death. I sobbed ad grieved for days, our other friend and I sat with her mother and mourned but I never lived through that pain, I never let go of my anger, I never processed my sadness. I am not sure I have ever accepted that Katy is really gone. 

Katy, Jocelyn and I ran together. Like the Three Amigos we were birds of a feather. Each with our own personality to add to the mix, we were a gaggle of creativity, intellect and teenage laughter. I was newspaper, they were yearbook. Those were hard years in my life and when I look back, the times with those girls seem to be the rare moments when I was happiest. 

Jocelyn and I had just graduated and Katy was about to begin her senior year. She told us she was headed to a leadership experience for the summer, that it would get her some college credit. Only now do I know that I wasn't the only one who asked her not to go. Not only did we not want to be apart from her, but it just didn't feel right. The three of us attended a Brooks and Dunn Concert where Katy and I pretended to hate a song just because Jocelyn hated it, only to confess that we truly liked it the next day. Then she was off. 

We had no way to know that the concert was to be our last experiece together. We had no way to know that 24 days into her experience, on June 26,1996, the cold Wyoming river would rip that young life from our little world. 

We were told some small details, but I don't know that we ever really understood. I know I didn't. Because I didn't understand, I never processed, I just got angry and I think I've lived there for the last 18 years. Her mother gave me her car and I drove it until the engine locked up and it was beyond repair. I missed the times we drove around Amarillo together. 

Two nights ago, my Jocelyn sent me a link from the National Geographic. In 2009, Andrew McCarthy, the actor and a travel writer for the magazine, wrote an article about our Katy. He happened to be an instructor on that trip and was with Katy that tragic day. His recalling of that day devastated me and tortured me...but it answered questions. There is still no "reason" why our Katy never grew up, got married, wrote award winning articles and surpassed all of our dreams for her, but finally there are answers. 

At every special moment in my life, I have pictured my Katy. When I got married, I imagined the man she would have chosen. I saw her bright smile in the smile of my own infant daughter. I see her curiosity and tenacity in the learning eyes of the children I teach. I see her in the coffee shop, driving down the road, and walking through the grocery.  Jocelyn and I often wonder who she would be now, and finally we have answers to almost two decades of questions. There is some healing in that. 

I spent the last two days processing, journaling, and living in my grief. Today I was finally ready to share this with you. Finally, today, I am coping. 

If you would like to read Mr. McCathy's story, it is here

To celebrate our Katy, Jocelyn and I are trying to plan a way to visit that place for the 20 year anniversary. We will leave something there so that others may know that she was there. Plant a tree, a cross or a plaque of some kind. Some small token of evidence of her sweet life. I know this, I am a better person for having had her in my life, though only for a moment. I still miss her, every single day.